Hi Dear,
As the title say, the truth untold, today I'm gonna tell you
about the truth that not many people told you about. It is the truth of
heartbreak.
The first time I thought I experienced heartbreak was when
I'm in high school.
It was my first love I guess.
I got dumped. Yes, of course I cried. But not for long. For
3 days I think. And I dont fight for him. I just let the things it be. That
moment I thought I loved him. Maybe I did. But not deeply. It is cinta monyet nevertheless.
Immature but fluttering. So I got over it quickly. It was 8 years ago.
Little did I know, that was not the real heartbreak. I cried
only because I'm upset. Not because my heart got broken.
The truth untold about the real heartbreak is that damn
heartbreak will take all your appetites, all your sane minds, all your beliefs,
all your interests to life and many more.
It was so so horrible when I experienced it for the first
time. I really hope no one will ever got through that. Because it was so
painful to the point you asked Allah to take your soul.
Because you
cannot do it anymore.
You want the pain to be gone.
You dont want to feel that pain anymore.
You thought if Allah takes your soul, the pain will be gone.
The real heartbreak can only happen if you love someone
deeply and with all your heart.
You feel the heartbreak not because you are weak.
No dear, you are not weak.
Instead, you are so precious because
you love someone dearly.
You just got the feelings. And there is nothing you can do
about it. Because it is your heart.
The first stage. Of course I cried. A lot. Hoping that if I
cry, the pain will be gone with the tears.
But, the tears just made the pain
even more real.
Everything remind me of that person. I wake up with this
sick feeling inside my chest.
And I dont want to start the day. Because everytime I am
awake. The pain will be there.
Funny how much pain a broken heart can made.
But it is real.
It is really real.
For two whole weeks, I barely eat. My health worsen
drastically.
Its true they say broken heart can kill you slowly.
I thought I am strong enough to live through the pain.
Because I experienced worse pain before.
But I give all my heart, my soul to that person. I fall too
deeply. I trust him.
That is why its hurt so much when my trust got broken yet I
got blamed for the reason he cheated on me.
Next stage is when I started to believe what he said that it
was started with me.
It was all my fault. I live through the days just thinking
about how this was all my fault.
It was all because of me. I am the reason to
my own pain.
I feel worthless.
I feel I dont deserve to be happy.
I feel my existence is not important.
And I started to blame myself for everything.
I dont want to blame him because he is a good man. I know he
is a good man.
I used the crying baby picture for this stage.
Because thats
how I feel when I started to accept what happened.
But no, it does not mean I
move on.
It does not mean the pain is gone.
The pain is there.
But I learned to
live with it instead of denying the pain.
Lastly to all the broken hearts, I found this at youtube.
And these words are for you.
"Baby tell me something...
How many times have you had your heart broken?
How many times have you had your faith stolen?
By these guys
that promise you everything, only to find that behind the clever lies of the
skies they seemed to have fooled you?
schooled you into thinking that you finally found the one,
your soulmate, you feel your fate has been decided, and then they leave.
And you're alone again, wiping the tears off onto your
sleeve.
How many times have you been unable to sleep?
Because the
one man that you'd thought you'd keep forever isn't by your side.
You try and close your eyes but all you see are memories,
hidden deep within the crevices of your soul are stories unforetold.
Visions of growing old together,
Visions of your hands intertwined,
Walking barefoot through the sands of time for what you feel
feels like forever.
You lie there and fantasize about the familiar scent of his
cologne,
only to find it makes you feel more alone than ever.
You start to cry but it doesn't help.
The tears flow down and you wish that they would drown all
the pain you feel but you soon realize the tears just make the pain feel even
more real.
Your friends tell you, you need to let go,
and Lord knows you tried. but regret still occupies the
space between your arms where he used to lie.
Its strange how much pain a broken heart can make.
The same emotions it gives, it can also take.
Feelings of sickness that linger long into the night, too
bad that there's no medication to heartbreak.
LISTEN.
You think you're alone but I promise you're not. It's not
about what you want, it's about what you got.
Reach deep into your soul and pull out that strength that's
been hiding inside all this time.
And soon you'll find that your state of mind will change for
the better you can ride out this tough weather
And when the rain has passed, and the wind has amassed to
just a gentle breeze, you'll find that pain is like the tides of the ocean.
It comes and it goes, just take it slow and soon your heart
will grow back to what it once was.
You'll pick up the pieces of all those broken dreams
And although it might seem tough to pick yourself up from
that hole you've fallen into, don't EVER lose faith that someday you'll get
what you deserve.
Someday someone will love you so much that they'll give you
the world.
And maybe then, you'll forget about all those times you had
your heart broken."
Alhamdullilah. I am better now. I guess.
My advices are, to those who read this.
If you ever feel all those pain,
Dont deny the pain.
Dont deny the feelings.
Allow yourself to feel the pain.
It is okay to be not okay.
It is okay to cry.
It is okay if you still love that someone no matter how he
or she have hurt you. It is okay.
It is okay to have the breakdown and cry with all your
heart.
It is okay to be hurt, dear.
But, also allow yourself to change for the better.
Back to Allah. Back to basic.
Talk to Allah. I am not a good person to give advices about
this.
But I recommend you guys to watch Aida Azlin on Youtube.
Especially, girls.
Regards,
MEISHU.
